Black and White… and Black

So the warm weather reared its pretty little face early in spite of raucous protests heard from Punxsutawney Phil’s hole in Pennsylvania. Along with the weather came the skimpy clothes out of boxes labeled “summer”, the bottom drawers of dressers, and the backs of closets. A hodge podge of attire, (an unorganized mix of last season’s styles and whatever wasn’t wrinkled), scampered about like a preschool dance class performing their first recital with footwear ranging from flip-flops to ballet flats to bare feet in the grass. Long pants, capris and skirts skipped around and then … what the…? Apparently many of the ladies didn’t get the metaphorical “memo” that should have been passed around the sorority houses and dormitories. But do not worry, we plan to reiterate. Ahem: clothes are supposed to cover what is under them. No, we are not talking about showing too much skin. We are talking about showing too much bra. Sure, when a rogue bra strap peeks out from under your tank top like a claustrophobic snake sunning itself quietly on your shoulder, you’re not in the minority on a fair weather day. Everyone has fallen victim to this insignificant wardrobe malfunction. What we both hope everyone does not begin to do is wear black bras with white shirts. What are you thinking? Perhaps today your white tank wasn’t wrinkled and only your black bra was clean? Well let us tell ya, this style should keep hibernating for the winter; and the spring and summer and fall, for that matter. How could you possibly think it is becoming to draw attention to, not only your cleavage, but your whole entire chest and torso? Here is a riddle: What is less flattering than horizontal stripes? Answer: One horizontal stripe that looks suspiciously like the bra that you are wearing. It accents your widest part and you do not need to be doing that, ladies. The “Monet effect” doesn’t help this style, either because you look just as absurd and un-put-together when you’re far away, too! Punxsutawney Phil is on the brink of taking away our right to warm weather seasons and, be assured, next February he will have to be pried from his hole wearing a blind fold if this fashion catches on. So do everyone a favor and wear a bra that blends in!